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I'm kind of over it I think..

I've had a few people ask me why I haven't blogged in a while and to be totally honest, my answer has been like a stuck recording of 'I'm kind of over it I think..'

But I'm not, I'm not over it at all, in fact I'm craving writing more than ever but I just haven't had the heart to sit at a computer & talk about an upcoming trend, a new brand or an opening of a restaurant for weeks, if anything it riddles me with guilt that I'm still discovering & appreciating these things in life  - when all I want to do is write 'I'm losing my grandad and I can't physically concentrate on anything else, please bare with me.'

I've never lost anybody before, I've seen friends go through it and always sympathised and been there for them - but I never truly understood how it felt, until now.

I'm writing this on my mobile, with my left hand, whilst sat by his bedside & holding his hand in my right - I'm sure he'll be thinking 'she's always on her phone that one!' Like he would normally say to me with a cheeky wink. Mum & I have just cut his nails & he looks beautiful.

So without this turning into 'one of those posts' and believe me I'm not doing it for sympathy - I just had an urge to write on here - but for the time being, not about my new shirt dress from Topshop, although between you & I.. It is pretty fabulous!

Make the most of every day

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  1. Thinking of you, losing anyone is devastating and your first loss can be very scary. Best wishes to you J xx

    1. Thank you for your kind words Penny. I hope you are well xxx

  2. Sending you lots of love Jen! It is so hard to loose someone and I know when the day comes that my nan is taken it will be the end of my world for sure. Such a strong post xxx

    1. Thank you huni, it's weird sharing intimate things like this but it felt right at the time x